Who ARE You? - Part 3

Muscle relaxation and deep breathing are "behavioural" ways to address anxiety. We can also change our experience of anxiety by changing our thoughts, the things we tell ourselves or the movies we choose to play inside our heads.

Years ago, when my mother was dying, I began to practise what I call "The Moment". I was playing scary movies: How would I live without my mother? How could our family function without her wisdom and encouragement? How would we manage to get through the days that were coming on the horizon?

In the midst of those fearful questions, I began to draw a circle around myself, the circle of The Moment. I do best with things that I can visualize, so I visualized actually drawing that circle, perhaps three or four feet in circumference, around my body. That circle was one moment in time, THIS moment, and only this one. In THIS moment, my mother was still alive. In this moment, I could still talk to her. In this moment, the phone is not ringing. In this moment, I am okay.

When I am using this tool, and still feel anxious, I am drawing my circle too big. Sometimes we draw circles that hold years inside of them instead of moments. If I am worrying about being an old lady and running out of retirement money, then my circle is far too big. Yes, I need to think about retirement, but I do not need to feel anxiety beyond its normal function of reminding me that perhaps there are things I need to do to prepare for retirement. But in this moment, this very moment, do I have enough money? Do I have enough food? Do I have a place to live and people around me? Do I have my health?

Most of the time, the answer to those questions is yes. Sometimes, though, I need to pull that circle in very close, drawing just a tiny tight circle. In this tiny circle, I am okay, even if something is likely to happen within five minutes, or even one minute, right now, in THIS tiny moment, I am okay.